I’m going home

Over the last two years I’ve shared some of the most brutal moments of my reality.
I’ve shared my fear, my flaws, certainly my weaknesses,  and I’ve never held back, no matter how sensative an issue. I’ve dealt with the eveyday struggle of bring homeless,  which I must say, now matter how capable you think you are if handling such a situation,  you’re not.
The past two years have been absolutely surreal. I’ve experienced things, and seen things that have blown my fucking mind, and trust me, I was at a point in my life where for the normal person, I really had seen and done it all already, but holy shit, the streets step that game right up. I thought I knew the streets, but when it’s your home, it’s a whole new perspective.

I’ve shed a lot of tears for others and myself, however this morning I find myself listening to the the Rocky Horror soundtrack, and the song “Im Going Home” just grabbed me and brought me to tears. One thing different though, it’s actually tears of joy.
Next week will be 2 years to the day when I first became homeless.Now as I write this I’m looking at a world of opportunity.
I’ll be able to move into a small studio or one bedroom for as long as I need to wait for my subsidized disabled housing to come through.
I’ll be able to start the business that I’ve dreamt of, on my own with nobody else to slow me down. As well as do a ton of good for the people on the streets.
StreetLevelServices.com will be a corporate funded division of my company. :)
I can’t run an NPO. I’d have to answer to too many people, and frankly I’m doing an outreach event in the next coiuple of weeks and I’ve raised $10. What the fuck can I do with a ten spot.
I can’t really on donated funding. Rather just do the donating myself and just put it exactly where I want it.
Side note, Any donations between now and the outreach, I will personally match dollar for dollar, up to $500. So if I will, what’s your excuse? ;}

Going to be a very busy month of May, but by the end of spring you will see some amazing things happening here at my camp.
Next month I’m going to take a little much needed vacation, and come back fresh and ready to take over the world. In a good way :-}
Thank you to almost all of you. Fuck you to the rest

Sincerely
Gary

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Outreach Time Again

http://streetlevelservices.com/2013/04/outreach-time-again/

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Standing at the crossroads: Writers come join me.

So this weekend I was at the Crossroads. It’s the homeless shelter here in Providence, and it became clear to me that I need to bring others on board if I want to be in two places at once.
I can’t have stuff for the homeless and go past them to find other homeless ppl. So I made a bunch of friends here, and as for Cambridge I’m putting my girl Kelly in change for stuff I want to get across to Cambridge.

Now as far as things from this end,  its time to branch things out a bit.  The following I have right now is too diverse to be effective.
Fundraising is an unfortunate aspect of trying to get charity work done,  but it is necessary. That bring said it turns off others who are following for different reasons. So all future outreach info will done through Streetlevelservices.com which will be live in a couple of day.  So fundraising is not done here.
Now that being said,  this site is not the right personal outlet for me either seeing as its topical to homelessness.
I need a personal outlet where I can just vent about anything,  in my true sense of self,  which frankly many of you here would not be a good audience for.  I can be a bit much at times.
So I will be launching a simple personal blog for that.  When it’s up,  of you being there you’ll be invited.

As for this site.  I want to see it thrive on the topic of homelessness. So I’m looking for writers/bloggers who quite on the topic of homelessness to become authors for this site.
Ideally there would be a team of 5 or 6 writers,  including myself,  adding material on this site.
I would like to see a good mix. Looking for someone who leans towards political/numbers aspect.  Someone focusing on darker side, someone who can just talk shit and hold my attention, of which I have little lol

If you’re interested email me,  Gary @ homelesslife com
Send me …. number of words don’t matter,  just send me an article that’s on topic to homeless life.

Also tell me a little about yourself.

That’s it,  send me what you got.  Btw put it in the body of the email,  I won’t follow any links to your work.

Gary

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We’re off to a nice start

However I know we can do better. Lots of hungry and cold ppl out there. All YOU need to do is donate, I do the foot work out there on the cold street, and ppl are warm and fed. That’s a win in any book

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Please use the donate button on the right, it don’t bite, it just drains your wallet a little. Trust me, I just did 2 yrs on the street. … You’ll survive it :D Gary J

As of Sat afternoon 1:30 pm;

My cash (thank you E-bay): $50
PayPal Donations: $160
Current Total: $210

Gift Cards bought:$140
With PayPal fee, Atm, & travel, thats around 20…
Current available funds: $50

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Tablet or laptop needed for homeless advocate in N.Y.

There’s a guy in auburn NY, formerly homeless,  recently housed, who is doing some great work helping Chronic Homeless obtain resources and housing.
If anyone has a tablet or laptop they no longer need, it could help this guy a lot.
If need be we can make arrangements to cover the shipping cost to get it to him.
He’s doing important work, and absolutely needs to be able to access info on the go

Email me Gary@ homelesslife.com

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A new Trilogy of Terror: Part 1, Goodbye Red Brick Road

I’ve been reflecting a lot these past couple of weeks. Sometimes when you journal your life, it really puts it all right on the table, and franky it’s hard to make out.
I’ve recently had a bunch of old friends starting to find my site, and reading up on what I’ve been going through. Now I sit here and wonder if I’ve done them a disservice by subjecting then to the time to read it all, and I have to wonder just how acurate it is.
Seems my entire life has  been a complete state of confusion, being driven by emotions that it’s taken me 40 years to figure out, and I still work daily to make sense of it all.
I feel I have three worlds, three different versions of myself, in three distinctly different periods of my life, that are all very much me, but how do I make the three worlds all understand each other?

I have so much love for those I left behind, but I’m also engulfed in fear of a lack of ability to make them understand the level my brain was functioning at.
It seems any personal site has a sandard “about me” page, and now I sit here and realise that page, and all my other stories along with it, simply give you parts of me, based on my mood of the day it’s written. This doesn’t serve anyone any good.

So Im going to attempt a true “about me” page, that everyone in my life can hopefully use to put some of the peices together and see the larger picture. I’m just learning it all now myself. My psych team has taken me DEEP down the rabbit hole.

Episode 1: A Weed Grows in Brooklyn

In this first story we’re going to jump right into the events that made me what I am, and something my closest friends, who were and are my family, have never known about me.
When I was 10, I witnessed, and experienced, a horrific violent event that essentially broke me. I was just a child, and I was stuck in a situation where I had actually tried to kill a man in defense of myself and another. I was badly injured, and then stuck outside of myself helplessly in shock, as I witnesed something no child should ever have to.
Two weeks after that something else happened, that I can’t even say, but I now understand how someone can be completely outside themselves and driven to unspeakable things due to thier own experiences.
In a nutshell, 10 yrs old, 2 weeks after that horrofic event… there was attempt at my life.

At that very moment, I became exactly who I am now, and have always been, struggling to figure myself out.
From 10 years old, I’ve been emotionally on my own. There was simply nothing that anyone was going to tell me. There would never be anyone I would trust, an the idea of authority was right out the fucking window.
From 10 I made every decision for myself. Oddly enough finished school. Was one of those who did no work, but just absorbed the material.

However, I do build strong relations. I’ve basically been trying to build a family in every step of my life.
I found another family in my friends and thier families.
First and foremost Rick. My brother in every sense of the word, and I walked out of his life and all my friends without ever turning back. It’s because I still didnt understand all this, so how could I ever explain to others.
At a young age, I basicay installed myself right into Ricks family.
Bro, as disunctional/unconevnional(I say with love) as your family was, I didnt have a family in my mind. They were there but we just passed in the night. It was your family that took me in, and I felt part of it. I needed to feel part of a family so bad. As much as I loved you all over the years, is also how much I resented you for having it for real, where I was still really just an outsider, waiting to be turned against.

My relations with women also run hot or cold. I want to love you, and due to past events, I have a very strong protective part of me. While I would die protecting almost any one of you, I could never truly trust anyone.
Thats why when it comes to women, I am either fully dedicated, 110% loyal, or else I will fuck someone new every night (and i have the verbal skill to do just that)with absoluely zero emotion atatched.
I’m very honest about it, but that behavior can quickly turn to compulsive self medicating and become all consumimg.

When 911 happened, it’s not the event in itself that broke me, as some reporters who wrote my story focused on.
I had lost another family that day. Andrea was killed but what got me the most, and the image I can’t get out of my head, is seeing families aimlesly walking wth pictures of lost loved ones….. and there was Poppie’s family, holding his picture. Thier eyes were empty and hopeless and through the television I felt connected, yet emotionless. I shared emptiness in thier eyes.
Everthing changed. And I felt once again a family, that I worked hard at, had been taken away from me.

Where do you go from here? Down
I tried different things, but the inability to focus on any one thing too long, just left me looking to isolate further and further………. Til I finally had enough. I didn’t have anything left in me to offer anyone as a friend, or family.
I was dead inside just going through the motions. Being the classic life of the party, then do noting but cry when alone.
At least this time, walking away with nothing, into nothing, but this time it was I who left the family, not the other way around. Sounds crazy, but at the time that was all I had, and somehow I felt stronger for it. As bad as I wanted it, I didn’t know how to operate on the same funtioning level, and same loving level. I didn’t know how to do “normal” and the thought of it terified me. Just more to be taken away from you

Goodbye Brooklyn. I love you, but it’s time to go down the rabbit hole….

Gary

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Stay tuned for Part 2: The Flesh Failures/Forget the Sunshine

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Burgers & Coffee for the cold and hungry

So last outreach we managed to give out a truckload of much needed clothing to individuals on the street as well as local shelter. This weekend I’m hitting the streets again with more giftcards, as well as a bag of burgers ;)
I’m starting with my own $50 contribution. Last week I started and ended with my own donation. Hopefully I can get you all to rise up and help me make this a success on a larger scale.
Ideally, I would like to do about $200 in gift cards, and $100 in burgers to start.
More is better, and if I get no help that’s ok too, I’m still spending what I have, so ppl get fed either way, but I could really use your help. 
What I learned during the clothing outreach, is that the one org that fed ppl on sundays in Cambridge,  no longer does!!
There is NO FOOD available at all on Sundays anymore in Cambridge!
Please, give what you can! Its hard enough on the street any given day, but ppl need to eat, and the fact that fellow humans go hungry on a day known for feasting is just shamefull.
Lets try to change just a little bit.

Please give what you can, or to send gift dards direct, email me, Gary @ homesslife .com and we csn make arrangements.

Note: As I went to edit to add totals, the first $50 donation came in! Bless you Gina! :)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
As of Sat afternoon 1:30 pm;

My cash (thank you E-bay): $50
PayPal Donations: $110
Current Total: $160

Gift Cards bought:$140
With PayPal fee, Atm, & travel, that lands us back around…
Current available funds: $0

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

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Gary

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Outreach Cambridge: Success!!!

Thank you to eveyone who donated and helped make yesterday’s Cambridge outreach a great success! ! Especially Matt, whom without the day would not have been possible.

A full truckload of kindness was delivered to those who need it most. Even closed the day with some good Karma, when I made a large donation to the shelter that threw me out ;) Time to release the hate

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To donate items, or inquire what is most needed contact Gary by email: Info @homelesslife.com

For cash donations use the button below to pay by credit/debit, or PayPal direct

Any little bit of generosity helps myself, as well as others here on the streets and drop in centers in Cambridge, Boston, &Providence

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needed: Mens Bike UPDATE: got it!!!

So while I’m getting ready for doing an outreach ths weekend, got me to thinking, that I really need a bike again now that winter is over.
I need the excersise and I need it to get around for my own apointments as wll as local outreach.

Cambridge is a HUGE bicycle community, maybe just one kind person has a bike thy’re no longer using?
It would make a world o differance for me.

I’ll be at the Cemtal Sq (circle) Snda 2pm giving out clohes and outdoor gear. Feel free to surprize me LOL

Seriously though. First bike was taken by a junkie, second by the police.
Need  stury solid bike for ig guy(me)

UPDATE: Here’s my new ride!!!

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Gary

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Community Outreach, #CentralSq #Cambridge this Sunday 2pm

Have something to give? Come join us this Sunday on the corner of prospect and mass ave, at the central square station.
We have a ton of great stuff to give ranging from blankets and outdoor gear, to fantastic quality clothing for men,  women, & children alike!

To arrange material donations, email Streetlevelservices @ gmail .com
For cash donations please use the donations button in the right column of the page

Hope to see you there

Gary

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